Fic/poem/something rec: "Now advance they to the crime scene," by merripestin

[ancientreader]

Title: Now advance they to the crime scene
Author:  merripestin
Length: 755 words
'Verse: BBC
Pairing: John/Sherlock
Rating: R
Author's summary: Hwaet! I sing of those immortal heroes: The Tall Detective and The Shorter Man.

Now tall Sherlock, called the genius,       sees the parsley in the butter,
cries Oh! and soon declares the answer.       He knows the killer, has deduced it;
and John Watson, called the doctor,       whose gun is sure, whose hands are steady,
cries to him in admiration,       hails him Brilliant and Fantastic.

Reccer's remarks: Merripestin has been recced here before, and with good reason, what with the splendid writing and the general versatility. "Now advance they" absolutely slays me, and it may slay you too if you meet either of the following conditions: (1) you have ever studied Old English and/or Old Norse poetry; (2) you have backbuttoned out of one too many fanfics in which Sherlock is referred to as "the taller man"/"the dark-haired detective"/"the tall slender baby deer" and John is "the shorter man"/"the sandy-haired man"/"the clumsy typist." During a sex scene.

Condition 1, if you do not already meet it, may sound like a chore, but take a quick look at this lovely riddle-poem. Yes, this rec reflects an attempt to lure you into not only merripestin's delightful fic/poem/thing but also to one of my favorite literary genres.


Read on the AO3.

Comments

[sheila_snow]

I'll admit to primarily being a proponent of (2), although I did get a kick out of the Beowulf / Old Spice Guy crossover on Yuletide many years ago.

But thank you for this rec - if it's not a cure for the common euphemism, at least it's finally a valid reason for its use. But really? - "tall slender baby deer"? I'm glad I've never come across that one, because I'm fairly certain I would have hit more than just the backbutton!

[ancientreader]

Beowulf / Old Spice Guy. Oh, my goodness, I hope that's on AO3 because I've got to read it. And I'm glad you enjoyed the work!

(As to the baby deer, well, if you missed that particular trope, you probably also missed a hideous, vicious, and absurd wank that came near to destroying the fandom, so do everything you can to maintain your ignorance.)

[sheila_snow]

I'm replying from my phone so I can't do a link easily, but the crossover was called Gamol-leac by Castiron. It's under Other Media, Old Spice Guy Commercials. And yes, on AO3. I think you'll enjoy it. ☺

And yes, I did miss the drama you mentioned, for which I am indeed eternally grateful!

[ancientreader]

That was hilarious.

"For rather smell you / of maidens' nosegays
Or worse, of dead fish / silver fish hand-caught."

I thought I might expire on the spot.