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Fic Rec: The Waiting Isn't the Hardest Part
Title: The Waiting Isn't the Hardest Part (locked on AO3, message the author on tumblr if you need an invite)
Author: starrysummernights
Pairing: John/Sherlock
Length: 56,723 words
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: None
Verse: Sherlock (BBC)
Author's summary: Expecting a baby should be a joyous event in an Omega’s life. It’s what all the books, websites, and talk shows bleat about. It’s the crowning moment of glory in any Omega’s life. John’s just ready for it to be fucking over.
Reccer's comments: At first glance, this looks like a pretty standard Omegaverse mpreg fic, but it's much more complex and thought-provoking than that, and manages to put itself a cut above in several ways.
First off is the exploration of gender roles and something approaching genderqueerness in the Alpha-Omega-Beta 'secondary gender'. There are plenty of fics that depict Sherlock (or John) as a strong, independent-minded Omega unwilling to submit to Alpha rule, or one of them as a restrained, enlightened Alpha who sees their partner as a person and an individual first and foremost, rather than a fucktoy. But this fic goes a step beyond that, I think, in depicting John as truly conflicted over his gender and not just trying to assert himself or redefine his role in society. He is deeply unhappy with being an Omega, to the point of self-hatred. Through the course of the story, he discovers that he is much more comfortable when he acts as an Alpha, which I found to be a fresh and intriguing perspective.
Of course, trying to deal with Omega biology is doubly hard when his body is undergoing all the changes wrought by pregnancy, and that's the second thing that I thought set this fic apart: John's attitude toward his pregnancy. He is deeply ambivalent, not necessarily to the point of seriously considering an abortion, but he basically throws up a mental block toward the pregnancy, ignoring it as much as possible. I thought that was an interesting choice, as John is usually depicted as the caring, nurturing one. It was so hard seeing Sherlock want to support John and participate in the pregnancy, and for John to completely shut him out.
Which brings me to what really drew me in, and that was the completely messed up, dysfunctional, codependent relationship between John and Sherlock. They both struggle so hard against their respective instincts - both physical and emotional - thinking they are doing what's right, but they only end up hurting each other more and more. It's one of those where you just want to grab them both by the collar and mash their heads together and say, “Now kiss!” For example, the scenes where John has to force himself to do things in order to act like he thinks a good partner should for Sherlock are masterful, striking a delicate balance between pain and hope.
This is part of a longer series, The Illusion of Control, although I don't think it's absolutely necessary to read the earlier parts. The salient points are reiterated in this story so you shouldn't feel lost.
Author: starrysummernights
Pairing: John/Sherlock
Length: 56,723 words
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: None
Verse: Sherlock (BBC)
Author's summary: Expecting a baby should be a joyous event in an Omega’s life. It’s what all the books, websites, and talk shows bleat about. It’s the crowning moment of glory in any Omega’s life. John’s just ready for it to be fucking over.
Reccer's comments: At first glance, this looks like a pretty standard Omegaverse mpreg fic, but it's much more complex and thought-provoking than that, and manages to put itself a cut above in several ways.
First off is the exploration of gender roles and something approaching genderqueerness in the Alpha-Omega-Beta 'secondary gender'. There are plenty of fics that depict Sherlock (or John) as a strong, independent-minded Omega unwilling to submit to Alpha rule, or one of them as a restrained, enlightened Alpha who sees their partner as a person and an individual first and foremost, rather than a fucktoy. But this fic goes a step beyond that, I think, in depicting John as truly conflicted over his gender and not just trying to assert himself or redefine his role in society. He is deeply unhappy with being an Omega, to the point of self-hatred. Through the course of the story, he discovers that he is much more comfortable when he acts as an Alpha, which I found to be a fresh and intriguing perspective.
Of course, trying to deal with Omega biology is doubly hard when his body is undergoing all the changes wrought by pregnancy, and that's the second thing that I thought set this fic apart: John's attitude toward his pregnancy. He is deeply ambivalent, not necessarily to the point of seriously considering an abortion, but he basically throws up a mental block toward the pregnancy, ignoring it as much as possible. I thought that was an interesting choice, as John is usually depicted as the caring, nurturing one. It was so hard seeing Sherlock want to support John and participate in the pregnancy, and for John to completely shut him out.
Which brings me to what really drew me in, and that was the completely messed up, dysfunctional, codependent relationship between John and Sherlock. They both struggle so hard against their respective instincts - both physical and emotional - thinking they are doing what's right, but they only end up hurting each other more and more. It's one of those where you just want to grab them both by the collar and mash their heads together and say, “Now kiss!” For example, the scenes where John has to force himself to do things in order to act like he thinks a good partner should for Sherlock are masterful, striking a delicate balance between pain and hope.
“God, I love you.” John giggles wetly and Sherlock cocks his head to the side, not understanding. But that’s fine. It’s all fine. John huffs, trying to get control of himself. “I’m trying. Sherlock. I want to try.” John tightens his hands so hard they hurt, fingernails biting into his palms. He wouldn’t be surprised if he’s bleeding. It doesn’t stop the useless, stupid Omega tears from springing to his eyes. He grits his teeth, jaw aching. “Ok? I want to try for you. And I won’t get it right. I’ll probably fuck up more times than we can count. But…I’ll still…I’ll still make an effort. All right?”
He silently begs Sherlock not to ask what he means by that. Not to make him outline it. They can talk about it later.
John jumps, nerves stretched and frayed, when Sherlock brushes his lips against his cheek. He keeps a distance, careful not to crowd John and he’s thankful for that. He can’t handle much more than he’s offering right now.
“Thank you.” Sherlock breathes, heartfelt. John screws up his face, pursing his lips, not wanting to cry.
“Don’t…don’t thank me.” He chokes, voice low and ragged. “Just. Here.” He grabs Sherlock’s hand, pressing it against his stomach, hearing Sherlock’s swift intake of air, his body going rigid. Sherlock’s palm rests against John’s skin, warm and familiar. “Just this, for now.” John clarifies as Sherlock’s fingers curl, feeling at the swollen lump with a reverence John can’t…he can’t think of at the moment. “Just this. Is this…is this ok?”
Sherlock shakily exhales, nodding. “It’s perfect.”
This is part of a longer series, The Illusion of Control, although I don't think it's absolutely necessary to read the earlier parts. The salient points are reiterated in this story so you shouldn't feel lost.